It has taken me a long time to write this.

When I first launched nickosullivan.id.au, sometime around 2016, I put a note on my old WordPress site saying that my testimony was “coming soon”. The years kept moving, the note disappeared with an older version of the site, and I still had not written the story down.

Perhaps part of the reason is that a testimony can feel like something that ought to be finished and neatly understood before it is shared. Mine is neither of those things. I am still learning, still growing and still getting things wrong. But when I look back, I can see God’s faithfulness through the hills and the valleys of my life. He deserves the praise for that, and I want others to know.

This is my journey so far.

Growing up around faith

I was born and raised in Townsville, in North Queensland. My parents took my sister and me to church most Sundays, and faith was part of the rhythm of our family life. We attended Annandale Christian College for a number of years before I moved to Weir State School and then Kirwan State High School.

During those school years, I went to the Willows Presbyterian Church youth group on Friday nights. I looked forward to it every week. There were camps and devotions, movie nights, games, outdoor activities and, most importantly, people who gave their time to help young people learn about Jesus. On Sundays, our family worshipped at Townsville District Baptist Church, now known as Northreach Baptist Church. Of all the churches we attended, that became home.

One wet and rainy night at a Willows Presbyterian youth camp at Alligator Creek, one of our leaders spoke about Jesus: who he is, the price he paid for us and how he gave himself for our sins. I had heard about Jesus before, but that night the message became personal. I spoke with a leader for what felt like hours, and I accepted Jesus as my Saviour. I believe I was in Year 7, around 2004.

The truth at the centre of that night is still the truth at the centre of my faith:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” — John 3:16 (NIV)

Later, I was baptised at my home church by youth pastor Greg Tanner, who was an important role model during my teenage years. As I prepared for baptism, I read through the Gospel of Mark. What a story it tells—the story of Jesus serving, healing, teaching and ultimately giving his life for us.

I also attended Bible studies with older high-school students and young adults. Some of them picked me up and drove me home. We could talk openly as young men about the Bible, life and what faith meant to us. I may not have understood at the time just how valuable those ordinary car trips and conversations were, but I do now.

The church’s fishing club was another important part of those years. It gave Dad and me the opportunity to attend monthly events, learn about fishing, head out for the weekend and then gather with the club for a Saturday evening barbecue. There were stories, laughter and the kind of connection that develops when people regularly share life together.

I will always be grateful for the people who invested in me during those younger years. I was young when I accepted Jesus, but growing up in Christian circles did not make faith automatic, nor did accepting Jesus make me perfect. I had struggles and poor decisions ahead of me, as I still do. What changed was that through every high and low, I could return to the knowledge that Jesus was there.

Trying to find my way

After finishing high school in 2009, I was not sure what I wanted to do. I had thought about joining the police or the armed forces, but I withdrew rather than going through with some of the testing. I worked in BigPond technical support for Telstra while also running Townsville Computer Man, the small business I had started while still at school.

My path through further study was not exactly direct. I began a Bachelor of Education and left it. I started a Certificate IV in IT at the former Barrier Reef Institute of TAFE and left that too, convinced for a time that I already knew enough and should focus on my business. Looking back, I sometimes wonder what I was thinking. I eventually learned that experience is valuable, but so is doing the work and earning the piece of paper.

In 2011, I enrolled in Multimedia Journalism at James Cook University. My sister was studying medicine at the same time, and having her at university helped me find my feet. We were also part of the JCU Christian Union, now known as Christian Students JCU, which helped keep faith and Christian community present through those years.

The degree made sense alongside the work I was already doing. Through GYMP Media and My Suburban News, I filmed events, photographed the V8 Supercars from trackside, attended events with media access and built a local news website that developed a real audience. I enjoyed going out, creating things and putting what I was learning into practice.

I completed the degree in 2014, but instead of feeling proud, I felt disappointed. I had discovered that it would not take me as easily into some of the career paths I had begun to consider. At the time, it felt as though years of work had little value. I was so upset that I did not attend my graduation ceremony.

For a number of months, I felt as though I was in a downward spiral. I was sad, angry and unsure of my future. Music, guitar, running and the gym gave me an outlet. My prayers were not always peaceful prayers; sometimes mine was an angry faith. Yet God was not frightened away by my frustration. Even then, I was praying about what might come next.

It was during that season, through a Life Group at Northreach, that I met Sophie, who would become my wife.

At first, she probably knew me mainly as the quiet guy who once brought cupcakes that Mum and my sister had helped make. Later, we spoke around a fire at a Life Group gathering. When I learned she was about to return home to Brisbane, I realised I had better be brave enough to send her a message on Facebook. I introduced myself and asked whether she would like to have a drink with me—non-alcoholic, of course. I think we went to Juliette’s on The Strand.

What began with cupcakes, a message and a drink became one of God’s greatest provisions in my life.

Sophie and me in Townsville.

The valley I did not expect

In 2015, I was diagnosed with optic neuritis in my left eye. Over the following months, about 95 per cent of my vision returned. Then, around June 2016, something much more frightening happened.

I was at home washing up at the sink with Mum when I noticed that I was dropping things I was trying to hold. At first, I thought I might have slept awkwardly. I could still hold a glass and drink, so I tried to brush it off.

That Sunday evening, we left for church. By the time we arrived in the car park, I could barely move the left side of my body and could not walk into the building. What had begun with dropping things at the sink had become something that looked very much like a stroke.

My family let people at church know that something was wrong, although none of us yet understood what it was. The church prayed for me that night.

After scans and specialist assessment, I was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis. I was in a hospital bed, unable to properly move one side of my body, facing a diagnosis I had never expected. I remember having a Bible with me because we had been on our way to church. I read, prayed and asked God what was happening. I prayed for healing, and I prayed that somehow there would be a story from it.

The following morning, I was doing squats in the hospital room. I still had reduced dexterity and my left foot dropped when I walked, but movement and control had already begun to return. Within about two weeks, I was able to go back to work.

I see that recovery as answered prayer and an extraordinary mercy from God. I am also grateful for the medical care and treatment I received, and for the family God placed around me. Dad was a paramedic, Mum was a midwife, and my sister was completing a rotation in the neurology clinic at Townsville University Hospital during my early years with MS. They understood things I did not and loved me through a frightening and uncertain time. I know the experience was a burden and a worry for them as well.

Exercise had always been important to me, especially endurance running, cycling and high-repetition training. During my recovery, Dad modified a weight bench for me. Chains supported the bar and helped guard the weight while I rebuilt my strength. It was a practical piece of ingenuity, but it was also an expression of a father’s love. That bench became an important part of my recovery, and I remain deeply grateful for the love of both my parents.

The weight bench Dad modified to help me rebuild my strength safely.

During that season, I came across Colton Dixon’s song Through All of It. Its acknowledgement that “You have been my God through all of it” put words around something I was beginning to understand. I had known joy and regret, confidence and fear, wins and failures—and God had remained God through all of it.

The experience also changed how I saw other people. Before becoming ill, I had little personal understanding of chronic disease, complex treatment or the uncertainty people and their families carry. MS made me more empathetic. It reminded me that a person can look capable while carrying something difficult, and that practical care, patience and prayer all matter.

As I write this, I have had no further MS flare-ups and have changed treatments twice. I do not take that for granted. I thank God for each healthy year, for access to treatment, for the people who have cared for me and for the strength I have been given.

Faith expressed through service

When I look back, what once seemed like separate parts of my life now appear connected. God has used church, family, study, work, disappointment, illness and recovery to shape me into someone who wants to help.

Some of my earliest memories of serving go back to around 2001, when I helped with the overhead projector at church, moving the transparency slides up and down so the words appeared at the right time. From there, I moved on to operating the PA and the computer used for visuals. In my senior school years, I also had the opportunity to play guitar as part of some of the morning and evening music teams.

Those roles may have seemed small, but they taught me that every contribution has value. Whether I was moving a transparency, operating equipment or playing guitar, it was a joy to be part of a team serving Jesus’ church. That joy has stayed with me.

For years, much of my service in churches and community organisations has happened through technology. I have served with Stable on the Strand, now part of Stable NQ, helped with the Queensland Tropics Keswick Convention website, looked after systems for Northreach Baptist Church and supported other community work. Technology might not look like an obvious ministry, but service is not limited to the person preaching from the front.

The Bible describes the church as one body made up of many parts. The body needs feet to walk, hands to work and a mind to think. I have never had the loudest voice in a room, but God has given me practical skills, willing hands and a desire to contribute. If a website, network, camera, computer or other system can help people hear the gospel, receive care or do their work well, then using those skills faithfully matters.

I have also learned that serving faithfully sometimes means stepping forward and sometimes means stepping back. I am grateful for the mentors and friends who shaped me along the way, including people I may not have seen for many years. Life becomes busy and seasons change, but their place in my story remains.

Where I am now

I do not have every answer, and this testimony does not end with every valley behind me. Faith has not meant an easy life. It has meant knowing that I do not face life alone.

Joshua 1:9 has often expressed the kind of courage I want to carry:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged…” — Joshua 1:9 (NIV)

That courage is not about pretending fear does not exist. It comes from trusting that God is present. In Ephesians 6, Paul writes about putting on the armour of God: truth, the breastplate of righteousness, readiness from the gospel of peace, faith, salvation and the word of God. I cannot stand in my own strength alone. I need the righteousness Jesus gives, the truth of his word and faith that keeps turning back to him.

If you have been part of my journey—the leaders who taught me, the friends who walked beside me, the church communities that prayed, my colleagues, my family, or Sophie—there is a place for you in this story. God has so often shown his care through people.

And if you are reading this while climbing your own hill or walking through a valley, I hope you come to know the friend I have found in Jesus. I cannot promise that following him will make every hard thing disappear. I can tell you that he forgives, he loves, he remains present and he is faithful.

I am still climbing. I still get things wrong. I still need grace. But I know now that I do not climb alone.

Thank you, Jesus, for your forgiveness, your love and your faithfulness through all of it.

Amen.